Wow, I was so tired yesterday.. came in from work, laid in bed & fell sound asleep for 3 hours.When I woke up I had this urge..I have been wanting for a long time to reconstruct my personal totem. I have totem animals, I got them one time from a spread I did with Medicine Cards.. but I had long since lost the list.. but I knew they would all come back to me. & they did. 7 animals come from the spread and 2 come to you on their own. My 2 were fairly unclear at the time, when I did the spread.. but I asked for them last night & they came.
& the interesting thing is that I knew down deep what they were. I painted them into my painting.. well almost (I painted a black cat & I have a black cat but my Right animal - which guards my left brain male side is a Black Panther (cool, huh? - and the Mayans call him Midnight Jaguar - Jags totally make my head turn!) & my Left animal, guards my right female side - is an Owl (silent, magic, wisdom, insight).
see..? I painted them in this painting I did a long time ago.
Now it's possible I picked them & that they came to me because they were already in my painting.. like I chose them. But I don't think it works this way.. they came to me & I subconsciously just knew it then & painted them in. I was thinking of that this morning.. how sometimes I feel like I just know what is going to happen. I really think everything has happened already.. or at least is happening right Now.. I mean like everything past & future is enclosed in the Now.. all happening at once.. and it feels like it has already happened. Because the past has happened, therefor the future must have happened also.. but its not really in the future, its all right Now.. but because we can only see linearly, its hard to get & hard to explain.
Do you ever see the future & then come to experience what you had already seen. ? ..or deju vu's also. I sometimes see the house I am going to live in. I am traveling a lot, flying on planes. ..and this is not just wishful thinking because I know of some problems I am going to have in the future ..and I don't really feel like I can change them (although maybe I can & just don't know it yet) But I know about them & am walking toward them.. although they are not that big.. my Main future is very exciting!!! I knew that as a child & was always very content & happy.
I am so happy I have my animals tight around me again.
& I don't want to lose them again.. but I don't think they ever lost me.
North - Hawk
South - Blue Heron
East - Coyote
West - Rabbit
Above - Horse (I ride my horse to reach the dreamtime! - he connects me to the stars)
Below - Butterfly (She grounds me! lol)
Within - #39 - the Swan - all about grace and transformation, faith and acceptance.
Every one of my animals is exactly right in their place & have a lot to teach me & they all relate to each other.. they read like a story, on many levels.
Getting totem animals is very magical.. I have a book & deck of Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson.
It was was so important for me to re-construct my totem and get back in tune with these animals before tomorrow night - Carioca (ayhuasca) Night. I felt like they had been calling me for the last while.. and last night I stayed up for hours reading, studying and meditating on them.
ok back to food.. (although that was deep soul food!) ..but back to the Raw stuff
& my favorite.. something totally amazing to hold me over for the morning, and quick cause I am running out the door.. (well, not today, day off, Yay! ..but usually)
Superfood Bowl of Bliss
1 T almond butter
1 T coconut oil
1 t honey
1 T cacao powder
2 T hemp seeds
1 t maca
1 T bee pollen
& sometimes but optional - a bunch of goji berries & a cap of Host Defense (I'm on the mushrooms lately)
I often try to get in Fo-Ti lately also.. but its strong.
Mix all together & it's like a little bowl of chocolate icing.
A beautiful and magical, blissful way to start the morning!