Thursday, October 05, 2006

Margaret Robinson, birth and death, dreams and memories

Had the day off today.. for Grandma’s funeral. Jim’s grandma, Margaret Robinson - she was 89, an amazing lady.. she was fun, had a great sense of humour and could converse with everyone, she always seemed to know something about everything. She died of natural causes, well, she got an pneumonia.. but she died at home and that was important to her.. she hated hospitals. She was fortunate to have lots of kids & family to take care of her & spend time with. She had 10 kids! imagine that.. that’s a full house.. of course, some people have more.. but 10 is a lot.

Really big families interest me. Maybe because it was only my brother and I at home.. and he was 4.5 years older than me.. so he had his own friends & schedule etc. We got closer when I got older, teenage & up.. sometimes we’d end up at the same parties. Moncton, N.B. was an interesting place to grow up. Looking back I realize how many interesting & creative people there were there.. we had to create our own fun.. no access to the culture & nightlife and bands etc that bigger cities have. We had parties in the mountains, bonfires by the ocean, rented art galleries and had bands play after-hours.. house parties, I got bonded one time to this guy who was a close friend at an art gallery.. we had our clothing made out of rubber by this designer, think he had just came back from studying and apprenticing with Jean-Claude Gauthier in Montreal.. we exchanged beads and wrote up the ceremony, rules and regulations etc.. It was great, I forget his name now.. hmm.. but we were a really special couple at the time. Rules and regulations - I remember creating this game where everyone who joined had to write up & submit a dossier, and pay so much, I think 5$ and then we had to hunt each other down and the last person alive won. I forget who, it wasn’t me. I remember hanging out in Jamie’s basement and every week we took turns buying new import albums that came into Sam’s.. once in awhile we got lucky & came across something good.. we discovered so many good bands this way.. The Dickies, The Jam, The Heartbreakers..’yeah,yeah,yeah’ - that was the best song!

I just got out this journal I kept when I was a teenager, around 16 .. I still have it, 2 of them actually, but the 1st one is full.. interesting stuff.. it’s full of lyrics, drawings, recordings of conversations written out, recipes, information on lots of interesting things, all kinds of stuff taped & glued into it, phone #’s, journal & stories.. here’s the page I just opened it up to..

Two sides
Of the same eternity birth-death
One cannot be born
Until one dies
To die
Is to be born anew
To be born
Is to die to all that went before
A birth
2,000 years ago
200 years ago
every second
we are born
we increase and die
what if…
we entered in joy
and left in contentment
deliciously satisfied
with ourselves and our life
can you imagine!
I cannot
But dare to hope
Putting tentative footsteps on the path
Wandering, hoping, wanting to believe

~Anonymous (from ‘… & the pursuit of happiness”

I can imagine that now btw, easily.. joy and contentment and satisfaction. It's all about what you put out there. Thoughts are things.

I had a dream last night that I got this really, really special dog.. and we bonded right away.. it was so cute! & when I woke up I was so sad that I didn’t really have the dog anymore.. that it was only a dream.. I couldn't believe it was a dream. My dreams are getting more intense lately.. more real, more passionate. I love dreaming. I have so many dream books around here.. I used to wake up & record pages and pages every morning of all the dreams I’d remember.. but then I got so many books.. and now I write a blog. : ) I think writing is very therapeutic. Good way to get stuff out, empty the vessel.. the more you empty it the more it gets refilled. The Tao. Temperance. #14.

Sweet dreams!

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