Saturday, May 02, 2009

Life, Staying Raw, Lessons and Karma

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately.. maybe it's the Pre-Mercury Symptoms (PMS ; ) happening.. but in it all, I have realized some interesting things.. like.. that some of the things that I have been feeling lately - not quite the superhuman feeling I usually have.. more of a sad, what-is-going-on--why-am-I-feeling-this-way confused and disconnected kind of feeling ..well, I had previously been thinking more blame feelings about it, and it had been getting worse.. Now, I am thinking personal responsibility and I bring everything upon myself.. and I get it. (at least some of it) I was feeling a bit of resentment, higher expectations.. and I stopped giving as much. I said some negative things which (of course) I brought into reality.. and biggest one of all - I realized today that the sadness someone else was feeling, and that I could have helped, in the past.. well, now I was feeling the same way.. and I wish now I had realized and been more compassionate - & I watched karma at work.

Sooo.. lots of reflection It's been a crazy topsy-turvy kind of year or so. My almost 20 year marriage ended (Huge!) and teenagers, and leaving Toronto Sprouts andhelping open a raw cafe - which is wonderful!!! but a lot of work, and new relationship..and more, deaths, big spiritual adventures, awakenings, big thoughts and realizations.. well, I guess it stands to reason that there have been some mixed emotions and sadness and reflection thrown in there amidst it.

But I honestly think that even though this year has not been 110% superhuman-high all the time, it has been for the most part really, really good, and deep.. and I don't think I would have lived it all even remotely as deeply and fully if I hadn't remained raw. It let me see the light through it.. I think maybe it was the light in the food that let me see the light in the darker situations. ..and led me to the realization that I still have lessons to learn.. and to see those lessons.
So now, I am feeling so, so blessed at having found this incredible raw lifestyle.. realizing how powerful food is.. and how much it gives us.. and so much more than physically.

I was talking to my Mom today.. and telling her how it has been tough sometimes to stay raw. There have been times when I really, really wanted to go for the grounding cooked food. It didn't seem as hard for her.. and she has been through a lot also, prob more than me, from Judith's death - my sister in law, of breast cancer, to my Dad's death and taking care of him with Alzheimers, to now raising her 15 year old granddaughter.. she is always my rock, my source of strength, my spiritual guru and inspiration.. she has just sailed through all this raw and been there for all of us and everyone, bringing sick uncles and aunts meals..being there for everyone and always so happy, positive..

And I realized that it is her steadfast spiritual strength that has held her so strong and staying raw - no problem - through all of it. She always has what I usually have - an unwavering belief in the Universe and its benevolent abundant love and protection. And she has years of wisdom on me.

So, things are looking way up again. I just got a new gym membership.. a new Gym just opened May 1st-2 blocks away.. I have been green juicing -large quantities- daily.. onto the algae, wild mushrooms, maca.. all wonderful things. I have been confronting and looking closely at life and am back to embracing it wildly.. I am excited to see whats going to happen next!!
Lots of fun coming up very, very soon.. always always xoxo

Slow Loris Loves getting Tickled

3 comments:

Paul said...

Stay superhuman though...you are the champion, my friend.

Your Mum said...

One of the greatest blessings of my life is being your Mum ... and having such a special person for a daughter ! Heartfelt, sincere thanks for choosing me !

Much Love, Mum

Robin 'Keiko' Gregory said...

xoxo!! I don't have the words to tell you how much I love you.
I just have to feel this one out to you.
Thank you!