My appetizer (eaten while making dinner for Kaiya & I) was an outer leaf of iceberg lettuce, spread with some hummus (raw pate), topped with 2 tomato slices, 2 black olives (pitted) and then with the lettuce leaf wrapped around (bottom up, sides over, top down) into a cute little package .. it was so good. So maybe iceberg isn't the most nutritious lettuce, it is crunchy and has a great texture! & still raw.. filled with pure filtered water (plants filter water the best!!)
I have put down the Carolyn Myss book (Invisible Acts of Power) temporarily to read the one I bought this morning that Mom suggested. She is so into Byron Katie these days.. and I had to see what the big deal was about.. so I got her book: A Thousand names for Joy. & am devouring it (I'm devouring a little too much these days - but Kaiya & I are heading to the gym soon!) It really is quite fascinating - she really is quite fascinating. After just reading the bit I read on the subway today.. I feel really peaceful. Like a little piece of the puzzle just put it all together again. I usually feel incredibly peaceful and happy - but I have been going through something lately, something odd .. I feel like something huge has passed, there was some big sadness surrounding me on & off for the past month. I have been a bit baffled by it - questioned it - menopause? seems early but possibly, my relationships are great, but I have been through a lot with break up of marriage, relocation, new relationship, maybe just repercussions of that? could be .. work? also possible, but unlikely. I had thought maybe deprogramming something I wasn't even aware of, from my past, past life, ancestral memory, cellular memory? I even considered that maybe I had a spirit attached to me from opening portals into the spirit world via ayahuasca, also possibly. I had never been this sad before in my life.. I had periods a few weeks ago where I was waking up crying and going to sleep crying (I was usually ok during the day) but I often felt this deep deep sadness blanketing me.. & I couldn't figure out what I had to be depressed about, I am exactly where I have envisioned myself, and am really grateful for all the wonderful experiences I have had these past few years, all the amazing people in my life, such creativity - I have everything I need to be happy, and I have no doubt that life is just going to continue to get better, that it is totally an uphill journey, we can manifest whatever we wish and dreams really do come true. ..and Katie is just confirming what I already know and seem to have forgotten temporarily, that everything is perfect just as it is. Everything we think is just an illusion of our minds. We really don't know anything.. and we have lots of stories running in our minds, programs.
"In the end, "mystery" is equal to "manifestations." You're just looking from a new perspective. The world is an optical illusion. It's just you, crazed and miserable, or you, delighted and at peace. In the end, "desire" is equal to "end of desire." Desire is a gift; it's about noticing. Everything happens for you, not to you." ~Byron Katie
I remember walking down Bloor and seeing a guy with dirty clothes sitting on the sidewalk, he looked up at me, I read his knuckles "FUCK" on one hand and "HATE" on the other.. and I smiled inside, went next door and into Sonic Boom, used and new cd store and thought I love this city! That sort of stuff happens all the time. I don't listen to the news often. I just have this feeling it's for the most part controlled and negative and stay away from it - 'try to keep the vibes pure man!' (Jamaican accent) but when I do, I love it.. all the drama going on. It is what it is.. and I do believe that the external is a reflection of our internal..and when we all get it together, and I do believe we will, then there really will be Heaven on Earth. (& thats if we make it past 2012 ; ) but anything is possible and its all incredibly fascinating and as sure as there are spontaneous healings - Anything is possible! ..and in the meantime its all incredibly fascinating to watch.
Oh, & I am not even upset that after all my planning and excitement about the Moksha Yoga challenge, I am not doing it. It turns out that the subway doesn't run until 6 am on weekdays (9 am on Sundays!) Which I do feel is incredibly lame for a city with millions of people in it!! sheesh.. and I had a huge map with all the bus and streetcar routes, trying to figure a way to stay in the east end with Zoey and still get to a 6:30 am yoga class in the west - but in the end it came down to a choice between the 2 & I chose Zoey. But I can still do yoga on my own there. Kaiya and I did yoga-pilates last night. Cool.
& everything is exactly as it should be in this miracle-filled wonderful world.
& everything going on out there teaches us more about ourselves.
& we are all connected!
Peace-out and Love!